September 10th: General Update

So much has happened since I last posted.  I will give a short synopsis with details to follow.  We have moved into our rental house and the boys are enjoying school.  Ken is going to actually go into work tomorrow for the first time since we arrived.  He has been working from home but not going to the office.  

Our air shipment should arrive tomorrow so it will be a nice birthday present for me (September 11^th).   We have rented some furniture and purchased a few items to get us through but I am really looking forward to getting a few things, like cookware and nice bedding.

On the topic of bedding, we could not find any nice sheets but we have them coming in our first shipment.  We purchased a few cheap sheets but did not buy any blankets.  We have really wanted blankets, so we have taken down some of the fabric curtains and we are using those as blankets until our shipment arrives.  The landlord purchased some very nice curtains and we are using them for all they are worth.

We are in the process of hiring a car with driver, a maid and a cook.  This sounds like it would be so nice but the process is exhausting.  You either have to pay a lot more than you should or you have to really spend time negotiating.  I am working on very little sleep and my brain is about full of new information so I think I may be paying too much for a while.  We have the driver lined up to start next Monday and a cook is coming to do a sample meal later this week.  If you can believe it, I am tired of peanut butter toast for breakfast, snacks for lunch and pizza for dinner.   There are very few takeout places in our part of town so our choices are limited. 

Anyway,  I mainly wanted to keep everyone posted.  I will try to post some details tomorrow while I am waiting for the air shipment and wishing the satellite would get hooked up. 

Sept 3rd: 1st day of school

Today is the first day of school.  We got up at 6am and made peanut butter toast in the room which was our routine in TX.  Then we were off to the school.  Our driver was unsure of where we were going but we saw a bus from the school and followed it in.  We got to school on time and walked the kids into the waiting area.  B was very excited about going to school and could not wait.  When we got to his area he happily went off with his new assigned buddy to get a water bottle.  N was escorted from the primary area to the middle school area by someone else so we had to say goodbye to him further from his class.  I am not worried at all about B.  He has 12 children in the class with a teacher and an aid.  He loves to try new food and I think he will fit right in.  N is a different story.  He is starting middle school which is hard enough but he started the day without knowing his schedule or where anything is at the school.  He will also be assigned a buddy for the week so hopefully he will get along with his buddy.  There are 32 students in his grade with two classes per subject so an average of 16/class.  For those who do not know, N has dyslexia and dysgraphia.  He gets some accommodations from the school in TX such as being able to type his work instead of handwriting.  We do not think his teachers are aware of this yet so today may be hard for him.  We told him not to worry that we would get it all sorted out over the next few days but to try his best for now.  He is also getting tested for advanced math.  He is entering grade 6 but has already done the math books for grade 6, grade 7 and is part way through grade 8.  The school is going to work with us but they are unsure of exactly how at this point.  Again something we have to get sorted out over the next few days.  The person who typically makes those calls is out of the country due to a family emergency. 

When the boys got back from school N said he enjoyed his first day and B said it was OK.  B does not like feeling like he is behind his peers and starting 3 weeks late has put him a little behind in things like Mandarin.  They both made some friends and the social aspect appears to be very good so far.  N even ate lunch in the cafeteria.  We are sending him each day with the hopes he will try the food and like it.  They have an Italian chef who prepares lunch. 

While the boys were in school we ran some errands but we still have lots to do.  The red tape here is absolutely insane.   That will be a blog post or two all on its own.  

Arrival in India: September 1st and 2nd

We arrived about 6PM and made it through customs and immigration by 7PM.  Our driver was waiting for us and we were off to the hotel.  B stated as we were getting into the car that he did not like India so far.  I said “You have only seen the airport. Who would like a city after going through customs?”  He replied “Good point.”

B slept in the car most of the way and N was looking around.  You could see the culture shock in his eyes.  We are staying in an India hotel which is very nice for what we are paying.  We have two adjoining rooms with a mini-fridge in each, a toaster, microwave and a few pots and pans.  Nothing extravagant but it will work.  It is also only costing about $90/night total with breakfast included.  It is also a lot closer to the boys’ school and Ken’s work than the western style hotels so that is a plus.  The cheapest we could find a western style hotel would have been all four in one room that is intended to have a max of 3 people. It would be extremely cramped, no kitchenette area and about 3 times the price.  Or a very nice apartment type place for about 4 times the cost.

We tried to get the boys to bed early but N was too wired.  He was thinking too much about everything.  He got upset about how different everything is here in India.  He said that in Europe it was not that different but here was so different he was overwhelmed. It took until after midnight for him to get to sleep and this was only after I let him wear my watch to bed so he would know the time (remember no clocks in the rooms).   B went through the same thing in the morning and Ken was overwhelmed by 10am.  Ken asked why I seemed to be fine and I told him someone had to hold it together or we would never make it through the week.

 We decided to head out and go to a Sunday brunch at one of the nicest hotels in town.  It was a huge splurge but it was worth it.  Here, N got a beef burger and lots of cheese and B got some fruit juice he was craving.  The boys got to see a more western part of town as we drove and saw some interesting sights.  We then went to a mall we were told had bowling but it was not completed yet.  Instead, we went to an arcade and did some shopping.  It was a very nice mall and felt more like home.  After this the boys were in a much better place and realized things were not as different as they seemed.  We would be able to find some places to go to feel more at home. 

We then went back to the hotel and ordered Dominos, ate and got ready for the first day of school (3 weeks late).  The kids did much better this evening and went straight to sleep.  I do need to tell you about ordering from Dominoes but that will be included in a post about the need for a cell phone. 

Europe Day 5

After being in Europe for 5 days there are some things that I realized.  Without meaning to we are slowing introducing our children to their new home.  We started off going to England, a country where we speak the language but the accent is different and there are a few things that are noticeably different.  Then we went to France, where often we were unable to understand what was being said but we could usually find someone to help us figure things out.  Then we went to Disney Paris where there were people from all over and who have different concepts of waiting.  For example, B wanted to get a character signature and there was a mob of children surrounding the character.  We helped the character get some of the children to step back for a few minutes and then we waited patiently.  We were finally rewarded with a signature just before he had to leave.  When we left, B stated that he did NOT like the way everyone was pushing and no one would form a line.  I know that there will be much more of that in India so hopefully this experience will help him.  When we arrive in India I anticipate that both boys will be overwhelmed at first but they have been doing great with the changes so far.

I will say that being at Disney Paris was a crash course in cultural differences with the above extreme to the next extreme.  Yesterday I was in the ladies room when one of the moms was asking her child if she could wait in the line.  The child was about 6 and you could tell she was not going to last long.  I suggested that she ask to cut in line.  The mom stated “We are from Britain, we queue.”  I responded, “I’m an American, we do what is necessary.”  I then made a loud statement that we had a child emergency and she needed to get to the front of the line.  The mother was embarrassed at first but did take her child to the front after a few people ahead in line encouraged her to bring up the child.  On her way out she thanked me and you could tell the girl was relieved.  

We also realized even more how Americans are unusually obsessed with time.  In every hotel we have stayed at there has NOT been a clock in the room.  It is actually pretty hard to figure out the time unless you have a time piece on you.  There are not many places that have a clock unless it is somewhere like the train station that requires it.  The next time you are out and about in the USA, look around and I bet within 2 minutes you will find the time without any extra effort.   That has not been the case anywhere I have traveled outside the USA.  

I have been writing some as we go but unable to post very often.  I will plan to do a section on Disney and compare it to Florida as a separate post later. 

Final day of Pack up

This has been the hardest day so far and as I write this it is only 10am.  Our household items are going on a shipping container today and we are spending the night with a friend.  We fly out tomorrow and 9 year old, B, is very sad.  He asked if we are leaving tomorrow and when I said yes he started to cry.  He has some friends he has been unable to see this summer and he is going to miss his friends dearly.  We all sat and talked and the kids and I cried.  Then B's friend had to cancel today and this set both he and I off into a crying spell again.  The saving grace was when the people N was staying with invited B to go with them to Main Event (a place with bowling, laser tag and rock climbing) for the day.  B was suddenly all smiles but I just can not seem to bounce back as easily.  I think I just need to take the time to cry for a while today and get some of it out of my system.

I do this each time I move a long distance.  I remember when I left NC to move to TX and I cried most of the plane ride.  Then when I would fly to visit my mom I would cry when I left Ken in TX and then cry again when I would leave NC to return to TX. However, I always waited for everyone I was leaving to be out of sight.  I both look forward to going to NC and going back to TX but I still grieve a little each and every time.  Intellectually I know everything is fine and I really do look forward to the exciting parts but I have to remember to give myself and my family time to grieve the very real loss of close friends and family.  While we can stay in touch it is not the same.  This is especially true for children who change so much in just a few years.  I know we will make new friends in India and we will grieve that loss when we return to TX while at the same time we will be overjoyed to be reunited with old friends.

So, for all of my friends everywhere, I will miss you dearly and look forward to seeing you again. Keep in touch and know that just  because I did not cry when I said goodbye to you does not mean I miss you any less.  I just saved it all up for today.  

Packing day 1

This has been a very long week.  Today (Thursday) was day one of the packers at the house. They were suppose to arrive between 8-10 however we received a call at 10am that they were just leaving the warehouse and it would take at least an hour for them to arrive.  They got to the house at 11:30am.  Not the best way to start but at least they got here.  We have found from previous experience that a little bit of friendliness can go a long way in making the move go smooth so we decided to buy lunch for the crew and had cold drinks and snacks at the house for them throughout the move.  I think it paid off because when I asked them to redo something they were very nice about making the changes and they offered suggestions on how to pack some items that got more items to us in our air shipment.

We have spent at least 60 hours over the last few weeks sorting everything into 7 piles.  Trash, out the door (sell), send by sea, send by air, storage, plane, and stays in the house.  This has been a painful process for all of us however, I think my youngest son had the hardest time letting go of the items.  He seems to have a memory attached to everything.  He finally agreed to sell about 1/3 of his small toys, 1/4 of his stuffed animals and a few of his larger toys.  My husband finally agreed to recycle his notes from his college courses.  We have moved those from NC, to VA, to TX and twice in TX.  I am so glad to see the two full file drawers of notes leave the house.  There has been something freeing about letting go of so many things we don't need or use anymore.  We do really need to do this type of cleanse every few years but next time I would prefer to do it without a move to the other side of the world. 

We sorted items and put tape of different /colors on everything to help the packers.  This did not keep the packers from putting items in the wrong place.  We went through our chairs and picked the best ones to take with us and send the others to storage.  The packers decided that we had 4 going by sea and 3 to storage and changed the tape on the chairs so they could take out the ones closest to the door in the first load.  I am sure it was not malicious but please keep an eye on your packers.  They fixed the mistake but even with all of the prep work we did there were at least 8 times just today that we had to get them to redo something because it was not done as we requested.  It helped that IBM requires an inventory of all items so I sat with the two packers and filled out the form as they were packing.  Ken stayed with the two movers working on bigger items.  We also told the company we wanted no more than 4 people in the house.  They typically like to stay in pairs so we could watch things better.  We have had many people tell us that 6 people came to pack their house and things went to the wrong place.  I really do not want to wind up in India with items I don't need and the kids toys in storage.   

We were very thankful to our friends who took our children.  They are with friends for 3 days. I don't know if the kids could have handled today and I am very glad I did not have to find out.  

12 days and counting

Things are a bit overwhelming at the moment.

We are having a party at our house tomorrow with about 75 people coming.  At least I have the sense not to stress over having a clean house.  My friends will not care that my house is not spotless but I did not want to have it at a restaurant so the kids would feel more relaxed.    I am looking forward to seeing everyone but getting it all ready is exhausting.

We did receive everyone's VISA but the wording on the X VISA's is vague as to whether or not Marilyn and the kids can stay for more than 180 days at a time.  We are hoping it is just poor wording choice on the VISA as Houston has just started issuing the new VISA so everyone seems to be unsure about what it means.  We will have to see what happena when we get there.  Worst case scenario is Marilyn and the kids will get to go on a vacation every 6 months.

Our stuff is getting packed up in 8 days (Friday) and then put on the truck on Monday and we fly out on Tuesday.  IBM is requiring us to list every single item we have and how much it is worth.  If it is $50 or more to replace it has to be on a separate line.    We also have to specify if it is going to be going by sea, air, or into storage.  Take a good look around your house and think about listing each and every item right.  I have one line item that is chapter books for kids, quantity 163, total value $652.  Next I have to get a count on the yugioh cards.  I think this is really a test of endurance to see if you can handle all the bureaucratic red tape of India before you arrive.

At this point you wonder, "Why in the world am I subjecting myself to all this work to go to the other side of the world and live?  I have a great life right here with wonderful friends and I don't have to itemize it all."  Then you think about the vacation in London you are going to take along the way with 3 days in Paris to go to Disney, the school that will have horseback riding as an extra curricular activity and the luxury of being able to afford a maid, cook and driver.  Most of all, you remember that this will bond your family in a way nothing else will ever be able to compare.  It is a memory the family will never forget and an experience that will change our lives forever.  This is what keeps me plugging away and cutting all that red tape.