General Update

It has been a crazy few months and the end is not in sight.  To give you a quick recap:

In September, Ken returned from a 3 week trip to the US with an "Exotic Fever", likely dengue fever and was sick for a solid month. There are a few hundred cases of dengue in Texas each year and Ken was lucky enough to pick it up while he was in Austin.   Just as he was recovering, he received word that work wants him to work in China for much of the last 3 months of the year.  We already had plans to attend a wedding in Agra, see the Taj Mahal and tour other sights in north India.  We had invited a friend to come with us on the trip and the 5 of us had a great time on the week long trip.  (that will be a separate post).  We returned from the trip on a Saturday and on Monday Ken flew to Mumbai to apply for our Visas to China.  He received the Visa on Saturday, 12 hours before his flight was scheduled to leave.  There was a school function that night so the two of us went to the party and went straight from the party to the airport.  6 days later, the boys and I attended a Diwali celebration then went straight to the airport for our trip to China.  We met Ken in Beijing for an 8 day trip.  We visited The Great Wall, Tiananman Square, The Forbidden City and a few other places in Beijing.  Ken needed to work part of the time we were there but he took a vacation day so we could take the overnight train to Xian to see the Terra Cotta Warriors.  I will post more on that trip also.  Ken will return in two days but he will need to leave again in two weeks, for 2 weeks, then he will be back for 5 days and then we are all off for a trip to Singapore.

In the middle of all of this, my medication (that needs to stay cool) was stuck in customs for over two weeks. After many emails and extra paperwork, it was finally delivered while I was in China.  Thankfully, I had people willing to help ensure it was kept safe when it was delivered.

I have declared that we shall avoid all unnecessary travel in the months of January and February.  We are all exhausted.  If the trip to Singapore had not already been booked and paid for I would cancel that trip.  It has been wonderful traveling and seeing so many wondrous things, but at some point your body just wants to stay in the same time zone and take a break.   We figured out that in the last 5 month (one of which Ken was home very sick) Ken has spent at least one night in at least 15 cities, in 5 countries, on 3 Continents.  We also figured out that in the last 9 months that Ken has been away from the rest of us for at least 12 weeks. In the past 4 weeks alone we have all been in 6 cities in 2 countries, seen 2 of the wonders of the world, taken planes, trains, and automobiles (and bus) and Ken has been in several additional cities.   Did I mention we are all exhausted and need some quiet family time at home?  

As I write this a memory has surfaced.  I remember when I was a child in a small town and we were relatively poor. Our big vacation most years was to stay in a tent at the state park at the beach.   I went to college on loans and grants not for the needy but for the "very needy".  I dreamt that one day I would get to visit Russia.  Not your typical place to dream of visiting but I wanted to see somewhere that was very different from where I was living.  During my childhood, Russia was suppose to be the opposite of the USA so it seemed very exotic to me.  Today, I live somewhere that is very different from my home town and I have the opportunity to travel to many exotic locations.  In my wildest dreams, I never imagined I would be able to travel to this extent.  I also never imagined I would ever travel to the point that I needed a break from traveling.   I have not made it to Russia yet, but who knows what tomorrow will bring.

I will try to post more details about the trips (with pictures) but for now I just wanted to let everyone know what we have been up to in general and that I have not forgotten about everyone.  We have simply not been home to call anyone.  I hope to keep in touch better in the future.

Recent Health Scare

Ken returned from 2 weeks in the USA and when he got home he immediately started running a high fever (103.5F, 39.7C) .  This continued for 3 days along with severe muscle and joint pain when a rash appeared.  We took him to the doctor and they diagnosed an "exotic" fever, likely dengue.  They ran blood tests and told him to come back the next day to repeat the test. The fever went away and we went to do the follow up blood work.  Later that day we received a call to come to the ER IMMEDIATELY.  When we arrived they said his platelets were critically low and he would need to be admitted and we needed to call people to get volunteers to donate platelets.  The hospital did a second test of the blood to manually confirm the numbers and it came in even lower.

At this point is when the panic starts set in and all the worst cases come to mind but you have to function to get things done.  My closest family member would take a minimum of 24 hours by plane to arrive.  I have only lived in the country for 12 months so there are no friends of many years to fall back on, only people I have met recently.  Thankfully, I knew I had a handful of friends I could rely on and I gave one of them a call to make sure my children were taken care of and I asked her to call our other friends and let them know what was going on.  Next, I contacted Ken's work and informed them of the situation and we would need people to come to the hospital and donate blood.  What happened next was truly an overwhelming outpouring of support.  Within an hour we had 15 people from Ken's work and several teachers and parents from my children's school ready to come to the hospital. Some of the volunteers were friends of friends we have never met. We had so many people praying for us and willing to do whatever we asked to help us through that I in awe. I started to realize that no matter what happens in this country, I have true friends that have become like family to help me through.  My school friends will ensure my children are safe, secure and loved when I can not, my Indians friends will make sure I know how to navigate the system, and both sets of friends will ensure I have any other support I need, even if it is to simply sit with me in the waiting room of a hospital through the night.

Thankfully, this was just a test and not a real emergency.  I was starting to prepare for several days in hospital when we were informed of inconsistencies in the blood work and when it was all said and done, it was a lab error and his platelets, while low, were not critically low and we were allowed to go home that night.  From the time we got to the ER to the time we returned home was only 9 hours but it was the longest 9 hours of my life.  I would like to thank all of my friends, and friends of friends who lent their support to me and my family. As I sit here and reflect on the events of yesterday it brings tears to my eyes. I will always remember this as the best worst day in India.  

What to pack for a short visit to India

Here are some items I carry with me everyday in India and some other miscellaneous items to consider.

A LARGE Handbag NO BACKPACKS
If you go to a store, you are typically allowed to keep your handbag with you but you will have to check a backpack with the baggage check.  On rare occasions you will have to check a handbag but in my 9 months here, I have never had to check my handbag.

Individually Packaged Sanitizing Wipes

You can purchase hand sanitizer here so if you are short on space wait to purchase when you arrive, however, I would recommend individually packaged hand sanitizing wipes.  Some times you need to get the dirt off at the same time and you can use them to wipe down the remote and phone when you get to the hotel room.  (studies show these are the two dirtiest items in a hotel room or house).  They are also useful in cleaning the tops of canned drinks.  Always clean the tab before you open the can then use a straw to drink it.  It is even better if you can get a bottled drink but sometimes you can only get cans.  

Travel Toilet Paper

You can get a roll of Charmin toilet paper in a small container that is perfect for travel.  You can typically find them in the grocery store in the same location as travel sized containers of toiletry items.  You can also find them in camping supply stores.  Many places do not provide toilet paper in India so I always take it with me. You need one roll per person.  

Individually Packaged Wet Wipes

If you are coming for a visit there is a good chance you will have digestive tract problems.  These will help you feel better. 

Individually packaged straws

There are frequently times that you will want a straw for your drink such as when you go to a fast food restaurant.  They will provide you with a straw but the straws are just sitting out and everyone is touching them.  I have also seen a cup full of straws fall on the floor and the worker will pick them up and return them to the cup.  I do not trust straws unless I unwrap it.  I actually don't trust anything to be clean in this country.  The general rule of thumb is assume all items were drop on the ground somewhere between where it was made and when you purchased it.  Then remember that people pee on the side of the street.  Clean everything.  

A good mask

There are two times you will want this mask.  The first is just before you land in India.  Indian law currently requires a disinfectant to be sprayed before landing in the country.  The airline attendants start at the front of the plane and spray the disinfectant inches away from your face and the smell is horrible.  It dissipates in a few minutes but a mask makes it much more bearable.  The second time a mask is useful is if you take a rickshaw.  The fumes are horrible.  You may think everyone will stare at you if you wear a mask but they will stare at you if you look foreign regardless, so protect your lungs. 

Medicines

Do not assume you will be able to find the same over the counter drugs here in India as you find in other countries.  For example, I was told by my doctor that benedryl is not sold in India.  I also had a very hard time finding Mucinex and they only had the regular Mucinex and none of the other varieties.  Also, the names for various medicines are different so even if they have it, you would not know what it is called.  I recently learned that acetaminophen (Tylenol) is called paracetamol here. Bring medicine from home you think you may need.

Snacks from home
Even if you are the type of person who will try any type of food it is still a good idea to bring a favorite or two from home.  I would especially bring something that helps you feel better if you get an upset stomach.  

Gift for Expats

If you are traveling just to see the sights this is not necessary.  If you are coming to work, ask if there are any expats from your country working there. Offer to bring them an item or two in your suitcase.  It will mean the world to them.   For example, my youngest was craving grape jelly and we could not find it here anywhere.  A visitor brought 3 jars of jelly and made him one very happy boy.  Another person brought Slim Jims.  It is something small that will mean a lot to the expat.

Comfortable slip on shoes
You will likely be asked to take off your shoes many times a day, especially if you are visiting temples.  Make it easy on yourself and bring comfortable slip on shoes.

For Women only
If you use tampons, bring them with you.  It is highly unlikely you will  find them here.  If you are lucky and find some they do not come with an applicator.


I think that covers the items I carry in my handbag on a day to day basis.and a few miscellaneous ideas. The list could continue on forever, but these are the essentials in my opinion.  

Maintaining your life in India (mainly me venting)

This is really a follow up on the Setting up your life in India.

Today I realized that the "setting up your life" phase never seems to end.  This is because things break constantly here.  Just last week, my 12 year old went to shut his door but the door would not close.  The bottom of the door jam basically popped off the wall.  In the USA this would be a minor inconvenience that we could get fixed in a day or two but here, we don't know if anyone will ever show up to fix the problem.  This is also the case for the holes in the mesh of the screen door.  We believe the holes were caused by a rat chewing through the screen.  We also found these holes in the mesh of 2 of the bathroom windows.  It was an annoyance for the screen door because we could just shut the sliding glass door and keep the mosquitoes, bees and rats out.  However, the bathrooms do not have proper windows so those rooms keep getting bugs in them.  We have contacted multiple people to fix the problem and no one ever comes.  We literally called multiple people for a month straight before we finally got someone to come out to repair the windows and door.  People say they will come and do not even have the courtesy to call and tell you that the plans have changed.  You just sit and wait and no one comes.

Today is the 4th day someone has said they will come to repair my 12 year olds computer and still no one has shown up.  Today is the 12th day someone from the phone company has said they will come and we have yet to see anyone.   I have been trying to get foreign currency,  yet days later I still do not have the currency.  I am so frustrated that I threatened someone with bodily harm if they don't show up tomorrow.  I have no idea if that made it more or less likely to happen but it made me feel better.

In addition, most of you know I require a monthly medication to be administered through an IV.  I have a contact person at the hospital that I call the day before to arrange for my visit.  I called and talked to her like normal but when I showed up at the hospital I was told she was on vacation and did not inform anyone I was coming.  I did not leave her a message, I actually spoke to her and she did not tell me she was not working and did not call anyone to ask them to do the job she normally does.  When I arrived they informed me there was no bed available for at least 5 hours.  That was the last straw for me and I completely let loose on the manager when she showed up.  I was in a bed and hooked to my IV in record time.  Somehow a bed opened up within 20 mins of the scene I made in the waiting room.  I think they just wanted to get the crazy foreigner out of sight.

So I am planning my trip back to the US and what I am most looking forward to at this moment is people who show up on time.  This has to be my biggest problem in India.  People  never show up when they say they will.  Never is a bit of an exaggeration but in all honesty I will say people do not show up when they say 70% of the time.  At this point,  I don't even count it as late if people show up on the right day.

I am now looking forward to visiting Europe and the USA for 6 weeks.  Just the fact that people tend to show up when they say will be such a nice change.  So please forgive me in advance if I get very upset with you if you are late for a meet up with me this summer.  At this moment, being late or a no show is something I can not handle.    

Dangers of India

So in my personal opinion, India is a very dangerous place to live.  This is not due to crime, the stray dogs, snakes, or even the crazy driving but more it is the prevailing beliefs of karma and that we all have a predetermined time we will die.  These beliefs create a sort of apathy about safety.A few weeks back someone Ken knew was on a train and the door was open.  The place to wash your hands was next to the door and while she stood washing her hands the door came loose and knocked her off the train and she was killed.  There was no outrage that the door should have been better secured or the place to wash hands should not be next to the door but rather a sense that it was her time to die. Below are a few examples of safety issues we have encountered so far.

Fireworks - For Diwali, everyone is setting of fireworks.  At first glance this is not a big deal until you realize that the person setting off fireworks in front of your house have ones that only professionals can get in the USA.  They are the ones that go high in the air and burst with the pretty patterns you see from professional shows in the USA.  There were many stories in the paper about misfire disasters and there were many close calls.  Even the smaller items are very dangerous.  B's cap gun exploded and Ken had one bottle rocket misfire.

Not sure how the bus driver can see out of the decorated front windshield. 

Clean up from the collapsed wall. 

Construction issues - In the community I live in we have a wall surrounding the property.  One section of it is leaning over a heavily used road and is in danger of collapsing.  In the US, everyone would be urgently trying to get  it fixed so it did not collapse and injure or kill someone.  However, here they are planning to get it fixed and hopefully they are able to get around to completing the bidding process and committee meetings before it actually falls.  It would be unfortunate if someone was hurt by the collapse but it is of the same priority as getting the recycling issues under control, and right after making sure the drivers are not gambling in the guard house or using more than two buckets of water to wash the cars.  Many people at the community meeting were much more concerned about water waste than any safety issue.  (I started this post a few weeks back and 100 ft section of the wall has since collapsed.)

This is on the stairwell heading up to where I  get my haircut. 

exposed wires - There are exposed wires everywhere in India.  We keep telling the children to make sure they do not touch any wires.  Frequently the wires are live and could seriously injure or kill you.  This is everywhere from the street light to the building where Ken works.

This is a very common scene on a main walkway.  

This is the main walkway at IBM

crossing the street - While being in the car seems scary it is pretty safe.  While no one from India uses seat belts we do and I feel as safe here in the car as in the USA.  I would not feel safe if I was driving but there is a method to the Indian driving madness.  However, crossing the street as a pedestrian is a completely different feel.  There is no such thing as crossing at a cross walk and as a foreigner it takes a while to get the hang of crossing the street while cars are passing all around you.  You look for a gap and inch your way into traffic until cars are passing on both sides of you and you continue this process until you reach the other side. There are several youtube videos showing this and they are very accurate.

Can you see the barefoot pushing the rickshaw?

This is a picture taken from the rickshaw.  This is how close cars ride to each other.   Frequently, the driver has to put in the side view mirrors and many cars just don't have them any longer. 

Holes in unexpected places-  I should say that walking in general is what I think is the most dangerous thing in India.  You will be walking along and suddenly there is a 2 feet across, 4 feet wide and 6 feet deep hole.  No warning, no tape, no anything.  This is not a rare occurrence.  I see it just about every time I go anywhere.  You are on the sidewalk and suddenly there is a hole just waiting for you to fall in.  This also happens with things like railings.  There could be glass along a  second floor railing for 90% of the rail and then 2 or 3 panes will be missing with no warning signs or tape.  You simply must always assume that nothing is a safe environment and pitfalls (literal pitfalls) are waiting around every corner.

This is a small hole in comparison to many.  This is a busy street that cars do drive on.

This is IBM.  Not a big deal but an Engineer would get into trouble for climbing on that table in the USA.


So the next time people complain about the USA being too stringent about safety and our litigious society, remember there is a flip side to that coin and we don't want to go too far in the opposite.direction.   

A little of everything

I have not been writing like I hoped but I have either been too busy or just not in the mood.

Things seem to run in extremes for me in India.  I am either very happy and could see us staying here for 3 or 4 years or I am ready to call it quits and come home today.  Just last week I was having a rough time.  My plans feel through on a few occasions and I was feeling very isolated and alone.  I had just reached the point of sitting and crying and wishing I was home.  Within an hour of starting to cry, I received a phone call from our old relocation agent.  He had a new client who would be moving into the neighborhood later that week and they wanted to come and meet us.  The wife was nervous about living where we are because it is more isolated than many other areas and her husband was hoping that meeting a fellow American would help her feel better.  They were at my house 2 hours later and when they left, she was confident she would be OK and I was ready to face India once again.  God knew that I needed a new friend in that moment because the timing was absolutely perfect.  I have since decided that I must make plans to have lunch with a friend at least once a week.  It is not a luxury here but rather a necessity.  

To back track some, we had a great time over the Christmas break.  The first week we went to Hong Kong and stayed at Hong Kong Disney the first 3 nights and then went into the city for 3 nights. We all enjoyed Disney.  It did not have as many thrill rides as the children would have liked but it was the Disney we know and love with caring people helping you have a magical vacation.  We also enjoyed the time in Hong Kong where our favorite thing was the food.  N was so excited to have a real McDonald's cheeseburger that we did not even make it out of the airport before he had his first one and it was the last meal he ate on the way back to India.  We also got to eat at his favorite restaurant, Outback, while Ken and B enjoyed the dim sum and dumplings.

Ocean City Park, Sinterklass 

Merlin @  HK Disney

Army Man @ HK Disney

They took B hat and he got the pirate gear.  

After Hong Kong we went to Taipei for 2 nights and met a friend, Tiffany, from the USA.  Tiffany is from Taiwan and her son is the same age as B. The boys both were so happy to spend some time together.
 She brought us a suitcase full of items from the USA.  Our family and friends sent money to our old babysitter and she purchased most of the items for Tiffany to bring.  We just paid the extra bag fee which was a lot less expensive and more reliable than shipping.  Tiffany took us to Costco in Taiwan and we purchased even more items to bring back to India.  There are some things you just can not get here while others are just extremely expensive.  For example, we purchase taco seasoning from Costco which was about 3 USD for a large container.  Here, it is 3 USD for a single packet of the same thing. By purchasing it in Taiwan I saved over 25 USD.  It is similar for cheese and chocolate chips.

The following week was Christmas and Ken took that week off as well.  I think there was a total of 5 days that no one left the house and the boys played online games together, calling me in to help when they needed another player.  All three of them thought that was the best Christmas week ever.

We are currently planning trips to Ooty and Goa and I now have those planned and all the reservations made. N's birthday is coming up and we will have 4 additional 12 year old boys at our house for 24 hours.  That is my next big adventure.  After the party it will be time to plan our summer.  This is still very much in the air. Right now we plan to take a two week vacation somewhere either at the beginning of the summer or the end.  We also plan to let the boys come to the USA for at least 3 weeks.  There old sitter has offered to let them come and stay with her so they will be in Austin for at least one week.  The details are still no where near completion.  Part of the problem is we had originally planned not to come back to the USA this summer, however almost all of the other expats have told us the non-working spouse and children typically leave for most of the summer.  Since the Indian schools are in session in June, July and August and most of the expats are gone, that would leave very few play date opportunities which would drive us all insane.   I will let you all know as the time gets closer what the final summer plans will be.      

I will try to be more current in the future with my posts.