Setting up your life in India

Since my last post, I have had my infusion and been sick for a few days, N has broken his laptop he uses at school (we got a new one) and Ken's mobile phone has stopped working.  On the win column, we have satellite TV, a great cook, a good driver, a passable maid, a wonderful landlord and a fantastic school.  On the when is this ever going to be done column is Ken's cell phone connection, the bank account that we supposedly have but don't have the account number or atm card after weeks,  water delivery service to be established and a few other items.  This seems to be the norm around here.  A friend just posted on Facebook that she is still waiting for her gas to get connected (all ranges here are gas)  and she moved in over a week ago.

Ken stated today that if everyone shows up to work and something actually gets accomplished it is a minor miracle.  This is not due to apathy in employees.  They all want to do a good job however since no one has a sense of time you can never count on anyone to be anywhere at a certain time.  I know those is the USA get annoyed with 4 hour windows for service calls and irate when we are told it will be sometime between 8am-7pm.  At this moment, I would pay $50 if someone would guarantee me they would come sometime between 8-7 and actually show up and complete the job in one appointment. We tried to get satellite connected and it took a week for them to show up.  When they finally showed up to install the satellite dish they had a different receiver than the one we ordered.  Instead of leaving the one they brought so we could start our service, they did everything else, checked that it was working with the other receiver and then took it with the promise of returning in the morning.  He did return but it was at 8pm the next night and even then we counted ourselves lucky.  Patience is something you must have in India or you will literally go insane.

So, when everyone tells you it will take months to get everything set up, believe them.  There will be some things that go fine but something will take forever.  Hopefully, it is something you don't care about too much.

My medical condition

As some of you know I have a rare medical condition called CVID.  I basically do not make all the antibodies I should so I have to get them from other people. This is not a disease you catch but rather a genetic condition.  If you ever sold your plasma in college, you were helping someone like me.  My treatment is getting my antibodies replaced every three weeks via an IV.  My last treatment was on August 15th and my next one is scheduled for tomorrow, September 21st.  I am feeling fatigued right now and I hope the infusion will give me my energy back.  It was only 2 years ago that I was diagnosed, however I have had the condition for many years.  One of the reasons I can say for sure I have had this since at least high school is I had a constant cough for as long as I can remember.  I lived in a house of chain smokers so I just assumed I had lung damage.  Three months after getting my first treatment, the cough disappeared.  I had basically been sick nearly continuously for over 20 years. Also, I would always need to go to the doctor after any vacation.  I would have some sort of sinus or respiratory infection when I returned.  I have just moved to the other side of the world, spent 3 days at Disney Paris, 6 days in London, one week in a hotel in Bangalore and then moved into a house and while I am exhausted, I am NOT sick.

I was scheduled to have the infusion today but there was a general strike and the kids did not go to school so we postponed one more day.  I am feeling a little nervous since this will be in a new environment.  In TX, I had the infusion in my home and a nurse came out to start the IV.  While I enjoyed being at home, the nurses who do this are not the best at starting an infusion.  They only do a few a week and my veins can be tricky.  At my last infusion in TX , the nurse tried 9 times then called for a different nurse who on the second try went straight for the vein in the elbow joint.  My infusions last about 6 hours so I was not happy about having the IV in a joint.  I am hoping that the insertion of the IV will go better at a hospital where they have people who do these multiple times a day.  The down side is, I don't know the set up and I will be in a hospital bed instead of my recliner.  We were able to bring the medication with us from the US so at least that is staying the same.  My doctor splits her time between here and doing research on my disease at a university in the USA.  She insisted that I be able to get my current medicine here and the insurance and hospital finally agreed to make sure it happened.

Many people have asked, "Why would you go to another country to live when you have this condition and all the additional complications it will bring?"  I talked to my doctor about this before I left and his response was that I have never been better able to handle this move than I am now.  If we had done this before my diagnosis, I would likely have been very, very sick all of the time.  Now that I am on proper treatment, I may be better able to handle the environment than the rest of my family.

Here is to hoping that my upcoming infusion goes wonderfully and I feel like my (new) old self in a few days. I will keep you posted.  

Cell/Mobile Phones and the FRRO process

I knew before I left how hard it is to get a mobile phone in India. What I did not realize when we first arrived is how CRITICAL it is to have a mobile phone in India.

To get a phone is a very easy.  You go to an electronics store, pick out the phone and pay for it.  Getting a sim card to activate the phone can take a minor miracle if you are a foreigner.  First, you must go to a vendor with a copy of your passport, visa, your FRRO registration letter (kind of like a green card in the USA), and two passport size photos. They will then send someone to the address on the FRRO to verify you actually reside at that address. This sounds easy enough but it is not.

To get your FRRO letter, the entire family must fill out about 20 forms then go to the government office and spend about 3-4 hours going through that process.  You literally stand in 4 different lines to complete the process.  Thankfully IBM helped with this process but still frustrating.  This typically happens between 7-14 days after your arrival.  We did it on day 5 when we were still at the hotel so we get to do this process again with the next 8 weeks to change our address to the new house.  Again all four of us must go in person on a weekday.

Once you get all the forms, you go to the vendor and pick a plan.  They will then activate your phone within 24 hours.  My phone activated properly but after 3 days and many phone calls, Ken's was still not active.  They finally had to issue him a new number to get the connection completed.  We were happy to have this complete but during our first week we were without a phone.  We tried to order a pizza from domino's but was unable to complete the order because they needed your mobile number to SMS (text) to confirm you actually ordered.  You could not give them the hotel number to call and confirm, it had to be by text.  You also have a car with a driver.  Most places do not have parking readily available so the way it typically works is the driver drops you at the door and you call him when you are ready to be picked back up.  This severely limited where we could shop during this time.  They even ask for your mobile number when you are entering various locations (private schools) as a sort of identification code.  If you tell someone you do not have a phone they do not know how to respond.  You just get a blank stare like they are in shock.  Everyone has a mobile number, even those who live in "tent villages" have a mobile phone.  The way it works here is you can get a cheap phone and then get a sim with no talk time.  You only pay for outgoing calls so people can call you but you can not call out.  It seems that a lot of maids/drivers/cooks have mobiles this way.  The thought that someone who obviously has money, would not have a phone, is absolutely unfathomable to everyone.

In conclusion, if you are coming to India plead to a friend to get a prepaid sim card for you to use for your first two weeks in country.  It will make your life so much easier.

September 11th: Air shipment arrives/my birthday

On September 11th it was my birthday.  My gift was the arrival of our very small air shipment.  We were very excited about getting it.  The Wii came, Yugioh cards, our sheets and blankets, pots and pans.  We also received two boxes that were marked for storage and were missing one of our air boxes.  It was the one that had the power converter to allow us to play the Wii, the internet phone box to let others call us, and some other electrical stuff.  I have never seen B more disappointed than when he came home, saw the Wii and his Skylanders but was told he was unable to play with the new Skylanders he purchased in London.  It was not a good scene.  On top of this we thought we were scheduled to have someone come and put in the satellite service that evening and I agreed to skip our plans to go out to dinner for my birthday and instead cook dinner for the first time in the house.  Unfortunately, we misunderstood (happens a lot), and they were coming out to do something else.  We also realized that while we packed the sheets and blanket for the boys' beds we only packed the sheets for ours.  Thankfully a friend who left India recently left us some items and among the items was a blanket just right for our bed. Thank you Vicki.   So, tomorrow I get to rehang all the curtains.

So, for my birthday, I got to unpack an air shipment that was incomplete and cook a spaghetti dinner for the family.  Can I celebrate or what?  

Going away parties

We had two parties to help us say goodbye to friends.  One for family and friends and one for co-workers.   The first was friends and family from school and the neighborhood.  The kids played, the adults talked and it was a lot of fun.  There was much discussion about the Indian Massage post and a few people were turning red.  The kids played Wii and ran around and a few watched the Olympics.  Nothing fancy, just friends hanging out.   However, what struck me most was how many of the people who came were people I had not seen in years.  I loved seeing them but thinking back I wish I would have thrown more parties to see these people more often.   I know I don't have more parties because they are a lot of work and I sometimes think that no one will come because we are all so busy.  I almost dread getting a Christmas invitation because there is so much going on at that time.  However, I think my goal in the years to come will be to have at least one party a year to celebrate something.  Maybe some of the lesser holidays no one else throws a party for and then, maybe people will not be too busy to come.  Maybe I will do Presidents day first since N likes them so much?  Help me to decide.

What holiday do you think deserves a party but rarely gets one?  

September 10th: General Update

So much has happened since I last posted.  I will give a short synopsis with details to follow.  We have moved into our rental house and the boys are enjoying school.  Ken is going to actually go into work tomorrow for the first time since we arrived.  He has been working from home but not going to the office.  

Our air shipment should arrive tomorrow so it will be a nice birthday present for me (September 11^th).   We have rented some furniture and purchased a few items to get us through but I am really looking forward to getting a few things, like cookware and nice bedding.

On the topic of bedding, we could not find any nice sheets but we have them coming in our first shipment.  We purchased a few cheap sheets but did not buy any blankets.  We have really wanted blankets, so we have taken down some of the fabric curtains and we are using those as blankets until our shipment arrives.  The landlord purchased some very nice curtains and we are using them for all they are worth.

We are in the process of hiring a car with driver, a maid and a cook.  This sounds like it would be so nice but the process is exhausting.  You either have to pay a lot more than you should or you have to really spend time negotiating.  I am working on very little sleep and my brain is about full of new information so I think I may be paying too much for a while.  We have the driver lined up to start next Monday and a cook is coming to do a sample meal later this week.  If you can believe it, I am tired of peanut butter toast for breakfast, snacks for lunch and pizza for dinner.   There are very few takeout places in our part of town so our choices are limited. 

Anyway,  I mainly wanted to keep everyone posted.  I will try to post some details tomorrow while I am waiting for the air shipment and wishing the satellite would get hooked up. 

Sept 3rd: 1st day of school

Today is the first day of school.  We got up at 6am and made peanut butter toast in the room which was our routine in TX.  Then we were off to the school.  Our driver was unsure of where we were going but we saw a bus from the school and followed it in.  We got to school on time and walked the kids into the waiting area.  B was very excited about going to school and could not wait.  When we got to his area he happily went off with his new assigned buddy to get a water bottle.  N was escorted from the primary area to the middle school area by someone else so we had to say goodbye to him further from his class.  I am not worried at all about B.  He has 12 children in the class with a teacher and an aid.  He loves to try new food and I think he will fit right in.  N is a different story.  He is starting middle school which is hard enough but he started the day without knowing his schedule or where anything is at the school.  He will also be assigned a buddy for the week so hopefully he will get along with his buddy.  There are 32 students in his grade with two classes per subject so an average of 16/class.  For those who do not know, N has dyslexia and dysgraphia.  He gets some accommodations from the school in TX such as being able to type his work instead of handwriting.  We do not think his teachers are aware of this yet so today may be hard for him.  We told him not to worry that we would get it all sorted out over the next few days but to try his best for now.  He is also getting tested for advanced math.  He is entering grade 6 but has already done the math books for grade 6, grade 7 and is part way through grade 8.  The school is going to work with us but they are unsure of exactly how at this point.  Again something we have to get sorted out over the next few days.  The person who typically makes those calls is out of the country due to a family emergency. 

When the boys got back from school N said he enjoyed his first day and B said it was OK.  B does not like feeling like he is behind his peers and starting 3 weeks late has put him a little behind in things like Mandarin.  They both made some friends and the social aspect appears to be very good so far.  N even ate lunch in the cafeteria.  We are sending him each day with the hopes he will try the food and like it.  They have an Italian chef who prepares lunch. 

While the boys were in school we ran some errands but we still have lots to do.  The red tape here is absolutely insane.   That will be a blog post or two all on its own.  

Arrival in India: September 1st and 2nd

We arrived about 6PM and made it through customs and immigration by 7PM.  Our driver was waiting for us and we were off to the hotel.  B stated as we were getting into the car that he did not like India so far.  I said “You have only seen the airport. Who would like a city after going through customs?”  He replied “Good point.”

B slept in the car most of the way and N was looking around.  You could see the culture shock in his eyes.  We are staying in an India hotel which is very nice for what we are paying.  We have two adjoining rooms with a mini-fridge in each, a toaster, microwave and a few pots and pans.  Nothing extravagant but it will work.  It is also only costing about $90/night total with breakfast included.  It is also a lot closer to the boys’ school and Ken’s work than the western style hotels so that is a plus.  The cheapest we could find a western style hotel would have been all four in one room that is intended to have a max of 3 people. It would be extremely cramped, no kitchenette area and about 3 times the price.  Or a very nice apartment type place for about 4 times the cost.

We tried to get the boys to bed early but N was too wired.  He was thinking too much about everything.  He got upset about how different everything is here in India.  He said that in Europe it was not that different but here was so different he was overwhelmed. It took until after midnight for him to get to sleep and this was only after I let him wear my watch to bed so he would know the time (remember no clocks in the rooms).   B went through the same thing in the morning and Ken was overwhelmed by 10am.  Ken asked why I seemed to be fine and I told him someone had to hold it together or we would never make it through the week.

 We decided to head out and go to a Sunday brunch at one of the nicest hotels in town.  It was a huge splurge but it was worth it.  Here, N got a beef burger and lots of cheese and B got some fruit juice he was craving.  The boys got to see a more western part of town as we drove and saw some interesting sights.  We then went to a mall we were told had bowling but it was not completed yet.  Instead, we went to an arcade and did some shopping.  It was a very nice mall and felt more like home.  After this the boys were in a much better place and realized things were not as different as they seemed.  We would be able to find some places to go to feel more at home. 

We then went back to the hotel and ordered Dominos, ate and got ready for the first day of school (3 weeks late).  The kids did much better this evening and went straight to sleep.  I do need to tell you about ordering from Dominoes but that will be included in a post about the need for a cell phone. 

Europe Day 5

After being in Europe for 5 days there are some things that I realized.  Without meaning to we are slowing introducing our children to their new home.  We started off going to England, a country where we speak the language but the accent is different and there are a few things that are noticeably different.  Then we went to France, where often we were unable to understand what was being said but we could usually find someone to help us figure things out.  Then we went to Disney Paris where there were people from all over and who have different concepts of waiting.  For example, B wanted to get a character signature and there was a mob of children surrounding the character.  We helped the character get some of the children to step back for a few minutes and then we waited patiently.  We were finally rewarded with a signature just before he had to leave.  When we left, B stated that he did NOT like the way everyone was pushing and no one would form a line.  I know that there will be much more of that in India so hopefully this experience will help him.  When we arrive in India I anticipate that both boys will be overwhelmed at first but they have been doing great with the changes so far.

I will say that being at Disney Paris was a crash course in cultural differences with the above extreme to the next extreme.  Yesterday I was in the ladies room when one of the moms was asking her child if she could wait in the line.  The child was about 6 and you could tell she was not going to last long.  I suggested that she ask to cut in line.  The mom stated “We are from Britain, we queue.”  I responded, “I’m an American, we do what is necessary.”  I then made a loud statement that we had a child emergency and she needed to get to the front of the line.  The mother was embarrassed at first but did take her child to the front after a few people ahead in line encouraged her to bring up the child.  On her way out she thanked me and you could tell the girl was relieved.  

We also realized even more how Americans are unusually obsessed with time.  In every hotel we have stayed at there has NOT been a clock in the room.  It is actually pretty hard to figure out the time unless you have a time piece on you.  There are not many places that have a clock unless it is somewhere like the train station that requires it.  The next time you are out and about in the USA, look around and I bet within 2 minutes you will find the time without any extra effort.   That has not been the case anywhere I have traveled outside the USA.  

I have been writing some as we go but unable to post very often.  I will plan to do a section on Disney and compare it to Florida as a separate post later.